Low Expectation

The other day I wrote something at Movies.com about movies that have been in development for a long time and wondering if any of them will ever actually happen (my wish pick for the discussion is Good Omens, but only with Terry Gilliam at the helm).

While thinking about the topic, I tried to find a list of projects in development hell (or limbo) that were announced and when they were announced. Since I couldn’t find such a list, I’ve decided to compile one and keep adding to it until such time I choose to stop. 

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This review was originally posted in March 2008 on Spout Blog, which no longer exists. I am republishing here now because the film has finally been released. Look for it on DVD and VOD.

Daniel Stamm’s A Necessary Death is sure to be one of the most talked about films at SXSW this year. At least I hope it is, because I’m dying to have a discussion or two about it. Here’s my endorsement, first, so that I might influence someone to see the film and in turn have someone to chat with about it: Anyone who considers him or herself a fan of non-fiction cinema needs to see A Necessary Death.

I should point out, of course, that this is not exactly a documentary itself. It is a narrative feature structured like a documentary (I hate to call serious faux docs mockumentaries, so I won’t), but it was indeed written and it was indeed cast and it was indeed acted out. But if you love non-fiction and hate fiction, don’t let that keep you from A Necessary Death. An actual documentary couldn’t say as much about the genre as this film does.

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In fact, it’s never really been employed in its intended role. The painting has been featured in the Art of Star Wars book and on a Star Wars Galaxy trading card from Topps, and Zazzle.com recently sold t-shirts with the artwork (sadly I didn’t buy one before they disappeared from the site), but it’s never been a well-known design like the iconic works done by Tom Jung, Tom Chantrell, Drew Struzan and others. 

Continue reading at Movies.com

This montage of Samuel L. Jackson as Darth Vader in Star Wars could use some better sound mixing/editing, but otherwise not bad. I still prefer the ones using actual Vader vocalist James Earl Jones quotes from other movies (mainly Coming to America). A ha!:

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Men in Black III (or Men in Black 3 or MIB3D or MIIIB or whatever)

Recommended if you like: Men in Black II; Back to the Future Part II; Timecop

Ashton Kutcher’s Steve Jobs biopic now has a name: “jOBS.”

The folks over at Five Star Feature Films decided to go with that name as a way to honor the lowercase ‘i’ branding that Jobs made famous with his iMacs, iPods and iPhones. The film will begin filming in June, and had been tentatively called “Jobs: Get Inspired.”

iDIOTIC. 

More like “Get Uninspired.” Seriously, though, that’s the dumbest title concept since Seven started the whole number-as-letter trend. 

Why did Battleship bomb? Was it the reviews? The laughable concept? The poor execution? Is Taylor Kitsch officially box office poison? Or is it bad timing? Could the board game-adaptation have done better by waiting a little longer, perhaps just one week in order to appropriately open the jingoist military fantasy over Memorial Day weekend (Will Smith should have the 4th of July anyway)? Many are citing the unstoppable power of The Avengers as the real reason for the flop, especially since it provides unimaginative headlines like “The Avengers sinks Battleship” and “The Avengers torpedoes Battleship.” 

But is that really a good excuse? Sure, both movies aim for the same general summer blockbuster audience, and sure, both involve alien invasions, and sure, the winner is much better than the loser. I’ll never buy that a movie fails because it’s bad, though, and I actually think Battleship is a lot more enjoyable and far more interesting than a bunch of action and sci-fi movies that are financially successful. This was definitely a mix of things. It doesn’t matter, though, because it did okay overseas and millions of people in the U.S. are going to rent the DVD in a few months, even if they claim they avoided it over the weekend because it sounded stupid. 

Here are 10 explanations from around the web:

1. The Avengers: 

“You sunk my Battleship!” is not a line you’ll hear in Peter Berg’s big-screen adaptation of the Hasbro board game, but perhaps it’s a phrase Universal execs are shouting in the general direction of “The Avengers” this morning. - Josh Wigler, MTV Movies Blog

Battleship was torpedoed, capsized, and drowned this weekend by The Avengers, still going strong into their third week. - Andre Tartar, Vulture

The real nail in the coffin was The Avengers—audiences had and continued to turn out in droves to see the legendary superhero team prevent aliens from leveling Manhattan, and Battleship’s aliens-at-sea premise really had no chance of competing. - Ray Subers, Box Office Mojo

It’s The Avengers, and it’s not just our film. When is the last time you saw a Johnny Depp movie open like that? - Nikki Rocco, Universal domestic distribution chief, quoted by The Wrap

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Battleship

Recommended if you like: Top Gun; Michael Bay’s Pearl Harbor and Transformers trilogy; Battlefield Earth