bad news of the week

7/22/05:

- Smurfs movie in the works
Thanks to all the hype surrounding The Transformers live-action film, Paramount has purchased the rights to the cartoon series (based on a Belgian comic strip) in order to create a trilogy of 3-D, CG-animated features. I guess the idea of unrecognizable exploitations of new technologies and lack of imaginations worked so well for Garfield (there is a sequel in the works, afterall). Way to continue your reign as the worst movie studio, Paramount. Paul Winchell is not even dead a month. In related news, the new Weinstein Co. is all set to co-produce with Warner Brothers the previously announced CGI Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.

- Man stabbed in theatre for shushing a talker
Matthew Harris of La Vista, Nebraska, paid a price for telling Omaha’s Daniel D. Evans, Jr. to be quiet during a showing of The Fantastic Four at an AMC Theatre. He was cut several times, not lethally, with a knife. If this isn’t a cry for better monitoring of chatty moviegoers, I don’t know what is. Isn’t it bad enough feeling awkward and embarrassed for having to leave the presentation to rat on somebody? How about multiplexes risk the payroll to ensure auditoriums are checked regularly so that customers don’t leave forever and depend on home theatre systems. My ideal theatre would have buttons on everyone’s seats that alert management and ushers of any problem, whether it is projection-related or a disturbance from the audience. Like on airplanes.

- Renny Harlin given more work
He’s not only one of the worst directors of today but he hasn’t shown a studio a hit since 1993’s Cliffhanger. Renny Harlin is on a new assignment for a graphic novel adaptation that has one of those pentagram-related plots. Let me just point out that pentagrams are not evil because of any religious association; they are evil because they only show up in awful movies. Top Cow Comics has a neat feature where you can read the comic book, titled Covenant, online.

- Remakes announced this week: The Omen 666 (looks like a sequel to me), only being made to cash in on the 6/6/06 release date.
- Video game adaptations announced this week: Destroy All Humans!; Dungeon Siege
- Biopics announced this week: Death Defying Acts (Guy Pearce as Harry Houdini); Lance Armstrong (Matt Damon as the cyclist); The Notorious B.I.G.
- Deaths this week: James Doohan (1920-2005); Edward Bunker (1933-2005)