cynical behavior

1/24/05: 
      SUNDANCE 2005    Halfway through my trip, I begin to grow lonesome.  I am not meeting people here, schmoozing or otherwise, because I feel very disconnected from these people.  They are not my peers.  I am not making any connections and I have only handed out my card once.  At sunday's reception for press and filmmakers I expected a more casual meet/greet affair than promotional soire and being so turned off from the prostitution of Sundance (why am I here, then, you ask?), I found no benefit in my attendance there.  I'm sure that I don't help matters by looking intimidating (I assume that I at least give off a cold demeanor of some sort).   
      I shouldn't be lonely, though.  I go to movies alone all the time.  I spend most of my free time alone.  And yet I am a fairly social person.  I just have no real reason to make friends or relations out here.  Film criticism is so saturated as it is.  I'm not going to gain the support or the advice of too many seasoned writers.  That is probably why I have made one friend who is even younger than myself.  He is from St. Louis.  He loves John Waters.  Eh, I'll still consider him my sole peer around town.
      Could it be that the movies playing this year influence my lonliness?  Looking back -and it isn't just a trend for 2005 but throughout indie film history -a lot of the pictures focus on a lonely, pathetic or sad or just plain unsociable, protagonist.  Lonesome Jim, Thumbsucker, Who Killed Cock Robin?, Me, and You and Everyone We Know, Loggerheads, DUANE HOPWOOD and The Dying Gaul all feature main characters with great social awkwardness and solitary strife.  And that is only among the 20 I have seen so far. 
      Maybe I could make more acquaintances in the field the next couple days.  I doubt it.  The festival output has not fulfilled any passion in me and without such passion I cannot exert my personality.  Besides, I can't stand talkative critics because most of them sound like fanboys with encyclopedic knowledge of not just cinema in general but about the films they are about to see.  Personally, I write because I am not a good speaker.  I also don't have the IMDB implanted within my brain in order to hold competitive conversations. 
       I am here because I love watching movies and I love to recommend them if and when I can.  I don't like to hear myself speak.  Boy, I sure do feel misanthropic.  Perhaps somebody should make a movie about me and bring it to Sundance.   

1/23/05:
      SUNDANCE 2005    Today was a good example of the effects of basic exertions experienced at the film festival. 
       First, my feet are in a lot of pain, and I'm not even walking all that much.  I may have actually twisted my right foot on ice and forgotten, but from the time I awoke, it has been painful with some walking -mainly sloped and rough terrain walking.  At least my left foot -strained almost two months ago -isn't doing as bad as the last few days.  Maybe the new foot is just taking more notice.  Anyway, I took a little rest this afternoon after discovering that the Music Cafe was going late again and I would not get to see Nellie McKaye. 
      Second, the lack of sleep has gotten to me.  I am attending screenings starting at 9am and ending at midnight every day.  By the time I get to bed, I have slightly more than 5 hours of rest per night.  Alas, I couldn't keep my eyes open this morning during Crónicas.  I was really putting up a fight, too.  I didn't fall asleep, though.  As soon as it ended I had some more coffee and I managed to stay awake the rest of the day, but I only went to 4 screenings today. 
      Third, and I hate to give out too much information, but I had my first bowel movement since the first day this afternoon.  I'm not eating much due to a combination of financial concern, weight concern and bowel concern.  Being in such public arenas for 15 hours not in the vicinity of my condo, I need keep constipated.  Today, however, it was time to go and I did so in the bathroom of the least maintained Quiznos Subs in America.  Suffice to say, they owe me a new memo pad.  I also chose not to eat there for lunch, afterall. 

    For comments on the many horrible films I've been seeing, check out this page:  Sundance 2005

1/22/05:
      SUNDANCE 2005    You just can't complain about something that is free.  Park City, Utah has a pretty good bus service, considering it doesn't cost anything.  We should be patient when waiting, right?  Today, even before the massive traffic on Park Ave. that put the Theatre Loop Shuttles nearly out of commission, I stood at the stop outside Festival Headquarters, the Park City Marriott, for a good amount of time awaiting my free ride.  Broadcast over the volunteer radios was an announcement that some stop (the Eccles, I think) was overflowing with angry people.  Now, I can understand that these people could be missing their films and they've grown dependent on their bus routes, but it isn't like there's a shortage of taxis in this town, especially right now.
      Luckily, I wasn't in any hurry at that time.  Later was a different story, and you know what?  I kept patient.  I went up Main Street for the first time in these three days that I've been here and will probably avoid it the rest of the days.  This is where the people are.  This is where it is hard even walking down the sidewalk in a hurray.  This is where crowds stand outside parties and wait for celebrities.  I went there for the Music Cafe series -another freebie available to me -to check out The Dresden Dolls.    They, too, were late.  Well, the band wasn't late, the whole show was.  Instead of going on at 3:50, the Dolls went on close to 4:30.  This proved unfortunate as I meant to attend a screening of a Danish film called Brothers at 5.
        At 5, I stood at the transportation hub awaiting that Theatre Loop Shuttle that would never come.  I decided to walk.  Now, I walked a great deal on my first day here and thanks to my still unhealed sprained foot, this was excruciating.  Yesterday I only took shuttles and pretty much stayed in one area.  Today, I walked fast.  I may be patient, but I know when I need to hurry, too.  I got there just in time for a 5:30 screening of Lonesome Jim, and it ended up the only fiction film that I've really enjoyed as of yet.  So, sometimes things happen for a reason and we are late for good purpose and we shouldn't get worked up about it.  We should especially not get worked up about fare-less transit that doesn't meet our needs.   

Stay tuned for commentary on films I see and broad consensus reports here and on READ. 
      

1/06/05:
     Happy New Year!   I made a resolution to be more productive, especially with this site as well as READmag.com.  I have been working on an article about the worst trend of 2004 that had originated as something else many months ago then neglected while letting laziness ignore writing projects.  Stay tuned for that on READ hopefully. 
      I have also been frivolously interested in predictions for 2005.  A friend gave me a subscription for Coast to Coast with George Noory/Art Bell and I got hooked on the two episodes dealing with call-in prophesies.  Then tonight another friend informed me of the John Titor story.  He was a time traveller from 2036 and had a lot of information regarding this new year as well.  Of course, I don't believe in anything, prophesy, time travel or otherwise, but it has all been quite addictive and entertaining. 
       What I would like to concentrate on here, though, is predictions for the movies of 2005.  I don't really need to go through too much on this blog because I already list my greatest and lowest expectations for the next 12 months in my Expectations section.  I really want to be optimistic for the year as I am really excited -and nervous -about many releases. 
        And what is the rule for super-high expectations?  I can only be left room for disappointment.  This happened already with A Very Long Engagement and I haven't even bothered rushing out to see Life Aquatic due to reactions.  How could anyone possibly make a great film out of Douglas Adams?  He is all about humor through exposition.  That doesn't translate well cinematically.  The new Batman:Begins could only have some serious flaw.  Ok, I'm not being good on my optimistic goals, but did you really believe the Film Cynic could be?
         At least we shall see the final episode of Star Wars so that those childhood delights may completely vacate my appreciation.  A film based on Bukowski's "Factotum" shall join The Hitchhiker's Guide in attempted ruin of my favorite authors (though not Breakfast of Champions nor Lolita has actually ruined Vonnegut or Nabokov for me).  There shall be plenty of remakes, updates, badly 'hip' TV-show adaptations and sequels.  So it goes.
          Other things I shall look forward to this year involve my hopeful transition toward a more professional writing lifestyle.  It may be a difficult dream, but making a living as a critic, cynic or both would make me extremely happy.  It isn't so much that I hate juggling this and my job at the theater, but anyone who has followed my work has noticed how little time I am able to spend committed to it.  Wouldn't a dependable, fully updated Lowexpectation.com be a lot of fun?  I think so. 
       I shall be attending the Sundance festival for the first time later this month.  I am not getting paid to do this and I am in fact investing a lot of money in hopes of a great experience to enjoy and learn from.  Look for my reports on READ.  
       And do come back here regularly for more updates as I make a concerted effort to make more updates.  Don't cross your fingers for quite so many reviews, as this has never been planned as a review site as much as a commentary preview site.  Let us all wish for a great year a the movies (provided the apocalyptic predictions don't come true).  I just saw White Noise and hopefully it is not an example of the product we can look forward to (the first releases of 2004 were My Baby's Daddy and Chasing Liberty and, hmm, weren't they indicative?)   And if it is?  Then so it goes. 

December 2004 
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October 2003