4/15/04::
         It has been awhile since my last entry and I guess lately I have been discovering the problems with having a full time job and a website that requires regular updates and watching movies and writing about them in addition to having a social life.  I haven't even been able to touch any of my fiction and script work in months.  After seeing the documentary Cinemania I became a little protective of my life in order not to be one of the pathetic moviegoers in the film.  I am a cinephile, yes, but I do not want to be a cinemaniac. 
        I once angered a girl I was seeing because I told her that if given the choice between never having sex with her again and never seeing the new Terry Gilliam movie (as an example) that I would choose to never have sex with her again.  I still stand by my choice of watching a movie over sex, but it does of course depend on the movie.  And it has to be a movie I would never have the chance to see ever again.  But still, regardless of my self-involvement, preference for being alone and my passion for the cinema, I cannot dismiss friends and lovers entirely.  But where do the priorities get laid out and harmonized? 
       I've also recently come to the realization that movies are, for better or worse, gateways to sex.  Maybe it is the date's boredom with sitting and watching a video; the attention span for privatized viewing is far less than in theatrical settings.  There are countless times when I, a very boring date, will sit and watch a dvd from my collection and only get through half before I find myself in physical activity.  It doesn't matter what kind of movie it is nor how good it is.  The drive is just there.  I have to now find something else to do on dates so this doesn't become suspect as a scheme of mine. 
      So, there's another argument for going to the movies rather than renting.  I have never had sex in a theater (although a girlfriend and I started to in the office of the Angelika long ago) and only once did I have some serious foreplay going on out of sheer boredom from a dreadful picture called 200 Cigarettes (also at the Angelika). 
      Anyway, I don't mean to go on about sex.  I had started to talk about social life in general.  But there isn't much that I do when I'm social: go to bars, get coffee, get sushi, hang out at the bookstore.  I try to avoid sitting at people's houses watching disgusting plastic surgery programs on MTV.  Still I would like more time for museums, parties, carnivals, concerts and things that bring me out of daily routine.  Maybe even things that aren't so expensive as I paid $100 for two tickets to see Air the other night and I'm not positive it was worth it. 
     The two options for regaining a social life and the abilty to tell a girl that I'd rather sleep with her than go to the movies would be a gain in personal time.  Since I don't want to give up writing about movies or updating this site, I'm going to have to find a way to make a living from writing and quit the full time job which only stresses and tires me out and does very little for my future dreams.

If anyone has advice for me, please email FilmCynic@lowexpectation.com