Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
directed by Gore Verbinski
story by Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio and Stuart Beattie and Jay Wolpert
screenplay by Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio
starring: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Geoffrey Rush and Jonathan Pryce

                Hollywood originality has been at an all time low recently with record numbers of sequels, remakes and television adaptations, but it seemed to hit rock bottom with Disney's new idea to create films inspired by their theme park attractions.  Last summer brought the completely ignorable Teddy Graham commercial-like Country Bears.  All thoughts of what their next ventures might be like were thrown to the wind.
               And then the trailers hit for Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, and I don't mean the laughable  teasers with their skeleton leg tramping through the sand.  Johnny Depp, perhaps the most gifted method character actor of our time, a man who can ham it up without detracting from the believability of his roles, appeared as flighty pirate Captain Jack Sparrow in what could be the most enticing movie advertisement since the trailer for Blow (also starring Depp) lured me in to a film that never lived up to its campaign.
           Pirates does live up, though, and mainly on account of Depp.   His Sparrow is another in a line of classic over the top performances that include Ed Wood and Hunter S. Thompson and even seems to mix those two together here for a delicious blend.  When he’s not on the screen you can't wait for him to come back, and luckily the wait isn't long considering his part could have been much more sidelined.
           The film centers more on the love story between blacksmith Will Turner (Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Knightley), the daughter of Governor Weatherby Swann (Pryce) who is attempting to marry her off to a prestigious naval officer.  Her heart belongs only to Will, though, because as we have seen in fairy tales like Splash and The Princess Bride, characters who meet when they are young will remain in love until they are old enough to consummate.
           Elizabeth is kidnapped by the infamous pirates of the cursed Black Pearl.  As the ship's captain, Barbossa, Geoffrey Rush invokes his most extravagantly sordid bits from Mystery Men and Quills.  He thinks that Elizabeth holds the key to escaping an Aztec curse which has made him and his crew immortal, seen as skeletons in the moonlight, yet lacking the ability to taste or feel.  To the rescue is Will, a fine swordsman from practicing three hours a day with weapons he crafts in the smith shop, and Captain Jack Sparrow who hopes to regain ownership of the ship he was thrown off.  On their heels as well as the Black Pearl's is the Governor and his royal navy.
         The rest of the plot is comprised of each of the leads, not collectively, being kidnapped, rescued, switching sides, back and forth and round and round until you forget where everybody is at certain moments.  At one point, Elizabeth is acting as the rogue, Will the damsel in distress and Jack his hero, which all makes sense because Orlando Bloom is such a pretty boy and Depp's pirate is a total Queen. 
              There is also a lot of swashbuckling, which has been pointed out by many to be totally illogical considering the permanence of the villains.  I didn't even bother to notice, though, because I've never been a fan of swordplay, especially in these days where choreography is chopped up and spit out so carelessly.  There is never ever a need for close ups in fencing duels anymore than there is in dance sequences, except that at least here, Verbinski has the excuse of cashing in on Depp's facial expressions, which I will for now graciously accept.
           It has been a long time since Hollywood has put out a good pirate film.  The genre has seemed to be cursed.  I believe the last that I enjoyed were 1983's The Pirates of Penzance starring another gifted ham actor, Kevin Kline and 1982's The Pirate Movie which I've always loved because of its silliness.  Maybe because pirates in general have become such an icon of ridiculous stereotypes that the brand is only successful as parody or camp. 
            Yet there is a level of seriousness to the picture that works for those trying to follow the plot.  Like Nick Stahl and Claire Danes in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley (who is a dead-ringer for Natalie Portman yet proving a slightly better actress) provide a worthy contrast to the comic relief of the real attraction of their respective films.  Of course, Arnold Schwarzenegger is just a one-note joke in that blockbuster and Johnny Depp, here, is completely and unforgettably brilliant.

"Let us pilfer that ship!  I believe they carry a shipment of cosmetics!"