"Stale Confection and Convention, Valentine's 2005"

Hitch
directed by Andy Tennant
written by Kevin Bisch
starring Will Smith, Kevin James,Eva Mendes, Amber Valetta, Julie Ann Emery

           The people who go to romantic comedies want a story with at least romance or comedy and hopefully both. Current fashion within this genre is to involve so much cynicism and irony that those main criteria have become all but forgotten. The sole studio offering for this Valentine’s Day, Hitch, follows the going trend with such an inclusive plot that a parody is almost achieved. Obviously that isn’t the intention.
         What is meant for is another self-help guide adapted to the screen. While there isn’t a source material here ala How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, screenwriter Kevin Bisch is at least a former editor for Details, the men’s Cosmo. Maybe somewhere there’s an unpublished article of reference for Alex “Hitch” Hitchens (Smith), a cocky game-playing know-it-all who seems to have memorized “The Rules” and uses it strategically in reverse. The picture even begins with Hitch pragmatically addressing the audience with his expertise.
            Not only does Bisch follow this self-assured player to his eventual reality check, he includes the story of a desperate, needy coward equally undeserving of a happy ending. Insecure and clumsy Albert (James) hires Hitch, aka The Date Doctor, to aid in his pursuit of a beautiful and wealthy heiress (Valetta) who is almost certainly out of his league. By the end of the second act, you better believe that Hitch and Albert are unfairly exposed as insincere schemers setting up for plenty of third act apologies and explanations.
           Aside from the film’s banality, the major problem is that Hitch is a romantic comedy for men. Sure there are plenty of male fans of the genre, much of them anonymous, but typically the target audience is female, and unfortunately there isn’t much fantasy here for the fairer sex. Hitch and Albert represent two extremes of what women don’t want; their two love interests, however, are beautiful, intelligent and successful. Bisch does throw in another unfulfilled female character (Emery) for the single girls to relate to, but otherwise this fairy tale is for the boys.
          On Monday, I shall likely, as usual, watch my favorite romantic comedy: The Fisher King. The 1991 film from director Terry Gilliam and writer Richard LaGravanese shares with Hitch the story of a dispassionate cynic who helps a shy bum woo the girl of his dreams and yet the former is a beautiful love story involving realistic attraction complicated by fantastic nightmares while the latter is a mere convention in rehashed humility. If asked which of the two movies would be best to watch with your Valentine’s date, Hitch would hopefully advise against his own.

Expectation Key


there's no possible way we will even see this

we'll eventually see this but we aren't really expecting much

anticipating the release of this one but we're sure to be left unsatisfied

such high expectation of this film only leaves room for disappointment