Win a Date with Tad Hamilton

directed by Robert Luketic
written by Victor Levin

            Win a Date With Tad Hamilton is the biggest waste of time and talent since last year’s Alex & Emma.  It is the kind of film that should never have been made, and yet it has been, utilizing none of the factors which could have made it at least entertaining.

            The story is your typical teenage drama.  Unfortunately, the characters appear to be older, if only for the morality of what happens.  Rosalee (Kate Bosworth) and Pete (Topher Grace) work at a grocery store.  They are best friends and he’s in love with her.  She at least still lives at home.  He at least is a geek but in a cute, attractive way.  The love triangle though focuses not on a popular high school boy but a popular actor, Tad Hamilton (Josh Duhamel).  Rosalee wins a contest to go to Hollywood and have a date with Tad.  She is pleasantly surprised and Pete is jealously frustrated when the movie star shows up in their small West Virginian town completely sure that Rosalee is the girl for him. 

The rest of the plot is formulaic and predictable except for a few minor details.  There is very little time spent on the relationship between Rosalee and Pete to show any real connection between them.  Most of the film is spent following the progress of Rosalee and Tad.  They are both beautiful though boring and when Rosalee shouts yokel exclamations like, “yikesaboo!” and he finds it attractive, you think they might actually be perfect for each other but you also think you may as well be watching “Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica”.

There is in fact really nothing about Tad which the audience can dislike.  He is pretty nice, seemingly intelligent and looks damn good without a shirt on.  He isn’t given any ulterior motives and, until the end when the audience is aware of his one error, he could be completely forgivable in comparison to the acts of bitter jealousy which Pete has displayed.  Sure it is obvious that Rosalee and Pete will wind up together, but it doesn’t seem like a very happy ending for her. 

The best parts of Win a Date with Tad Hamilton come with underused supporting players like Gary Cole as Rosalee’s father who tries to “talk shop” and bond with Tad by reading entertainment websites and wearing a “Project Greenlight” t-shirt.  Then there is Sean Hayes who for once is not overdoing himself and is quite funny as one of Tad’s agents/managers.  Of course this is in proportion to his onscreen cohort played by Nathan Lane, an obnoxious ham as usual.  Even Topher Grace and Kate Bosworth have shown strength in past performances which leave higher expectations in their choice of roles.  Grace should be leaving these kinds of parts to the other guy from “That ‘70s Show”.

Scripts based on your average loser who wins the heart of his beautiful yet sweet best friend will continually be written because there are few screenwriters who look like Josh Duhamel.  It is a jealousy, finally made more literal, of the rivalry between the brains behind movies and the faces in the foreground of them.  It is such an empowering cliché and a dangerous false hope, too.  It is strange that for once, the screenwriter may have actually doubted and nearly avoided his own intentions.  If only that movie could dare to be made. 

Film cynic pet peeve:  Josh Duhamel is too much of a pretty boy to ever be the nation's biggest movie star.  Sure Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt are pretty boys, but they are so much more physically distinguishable.  Duhamel just looks like cross between Johnny Knoxville and Bob Goen from "Entertainment Tonight" with a better body than both.   I am reminded of Rachel Roberts in S1m0ne who was never believable as an actress adored by millions.